The morning I realized I didn't want to choreograph another end-of-semester concert, I knew something had fundamentally shifted. Before then, I typically got really excited about that part of my work, but that day was different.
“Ugh, I have to do this again,” I thought to myself and immediately recognized the shift. My very next thought was, “Oh, that's something to pay attention to, because you actually like this."
That moment of recognition—when what once lit you up now feels like you're going through the motions—marks the beginning of one of life's most unsettling yet liberating experiences: outgrowing yourself.
The Uncomfortable Truth About Growth
We live in a culture that celebrates consistency. Stay the course. Stick with what you know. Build expertise in one area. But what happens when the self you've carefully constructed no longer fits the person you're becoming? When your old skin feels too tight, and you find yourself performing a role rather than living authentically?
The answer is both terrifying and freeing: you're ready to evolve.
According to Novoresume, the average person will change careers five to seven times during their working life. By age 31, most professionals will have had their first career pivot. Yet despite these statistics, we often feel isolated when our own transformation begins, wondering if something is wrong with us for wanting something different.
I personally came up with parents and grandparents who worked the same jobs for decades. So when I encountered my first professional pivot, I felt like something was wrong with me. I’ve since learned that there isn’t anything wrong with me. Quite the opposite.
While I was judging my evolution as flaky and inconsistent. Professionals around me were admiring my courage, wishing they could take a leap in a different direction, too.
So, what if that restlessness isn’t a character flaw—what if it's freedom knocking? From one of our past fireside chats, here are a few signs it’s time for a pivot and what to do next.
1. What Used to Energize You Now Feels Draining
Like in my pivot from professional dancer/choreographer, the first sign often manifests as a loss of motivation in areas where you once thrived. "I just felt like I've done this already. There was no freshness, no excitement,” says Arielle Deane, trading instructor and guest on our Exit & Elevate fireside chat. “I didn't have the same drive and motivation."
This sign isn't about being lazy or ungrateful. It's about having outgrown a particular container for your talents and energy. In my next pivot from a career program exec in the workforce development space, I had a similar experience but with different language. This time I thought, “why are we solving this problem again? We already solved it three years ago."
Pay attention to these feelings. Your new self might be telling your old self it's time to move on.
2. You're Getting Stalled Despite Your Efforts
Sometimes the universe conspires to show us we've outgrown our current path by closing familiar doors. Whether it's applying for 200 jobs without getting responses or feeling stuck in your current role despite your best efforts to advance, being stalled often signals the need for a different direction entirely.
When clients tell me they’ve submitted hundreds of applications or outreach messages without any bites, that’s a clear signal to me that something likely needs to change. Either the narrative that you're telling is not right or the target is off. In many cases, you've got to pivot somewhere.
The doors that won't open might be protecting you from settling for something smaller than what you're meant for.
3. You Feel Like You're Performing Rather Than Being
Maybe the most telling sign is when you catch yourself going through the motions of a life that no longer reflects who you are. Deane recalls feeling like “Groundhog Day” - this monotonous repetition that’s no longer interesting or challenging. That type of performance isn't sustainable. Your authentic self is pressing against the constraints of your old identity, demanding expression.
The Freedom in Letting Go
Here's the reframe that changes everything: when your old self no longer fits, it's not a crisis—it's an emergence. Yes, there’s some loss (and maybe even grief associated with that), but what you’re doing is making space for who you're becoming.
Dean's journey from government contractor to MBA to innovation consultant to entrepreneur illustrates this beautifully. "I think the benefit of pivoting is in every single situation, it increased my income,” she shared candidly. “And it just allowed me to explore a different part of myself."
So take the discomfort you're feeling as evidence that you're growing beyond your current circumstances, and find a way to let go so you can make space for more.
The Art of Strategic Transformation
Recognizing you've outgrown your old self is only the beginning. From there, freedom comes in consciously choosing how to evolve. This requires three essential practices:
Reflect deeply. I’m a firm believer in deep reflection. As you’re feeling the discomfort of no longer fitting your old self, try to understand what no longer works. What's problematic about it? What do you want to change? Get clear about what you want to be different.
Prepare intentionally. Like a true trading instructor, Deane stresses the importance of preparing financially for your pivot. “Get really clear on what you make right now and have those records so that when you start looking at other opportunities, you have a good one-to-one understanding."
Connect authentically. Here’s one we both agree on: transformation isn't a solo journey. Making a personal or professional pivot isn’t something you’ll want to do in isolation. Having the support of family, friends, your mentors….whoever…will make a difference.
Your Freedom Can Begin Now
One final truth about transition: just because your old self no longer fits doesn’t mean you’re discarding them. When I transitioned from my professional dance career, I was pleasantly surprised by how much of my skillset I used in my new line of work - skills I still use to this day. The same will be true for you, too. The skills, experiences, and wisdom you've gathered won’t disappear when you evolve; they’ll become part of a richer, more complex version of you.
If you're reading this and feeling like your life no longer fits, take a breath. You're not broken. You're not lost. You're not falling behind.
You're right on time.
Your old self served you beautifully until now. Honor what was, embrace what is, and trust what's emerging. Because on the other side of this discomfort lies a version of yourself you haven't met yet—one who moves through the world with greater authenticity, purpose, and yes, freedom.
The question isn't whether you should evolve. Evolution is inevitable for conscious beings. The question is: will you resist the process or partner with it?
Your freedom—and your future self—is waiting for your answer.
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