"I'm so tired of having to get over myself in business."
I closed my eyes with a wince of understanding because I knew exactly what one of my accountability buddies meant. In that moment of raw honesty that she so often serves, she had articulated what so many independent professionals feel but rarely voice: the exhausting reality that our personal struggles don't pause for professional ambitions.
As someone navigating the aftermath of what became a toxic marriage while building The Purpose Post, I understood her frustration intimately. The gaslighting and manipulation I experienced had shaken my confidence to its core, leaving me second-guessing offers, chasing external validation from coaches, and drowning out my own intuition. The personal had become inextricably linked to the professional, and there was no escaping the intersection.
What I've discovered through my own healing journey—and what recent research from leading business publications consistently confirms—is that this intersection isn't a bug in the entrepreneurial experience; it's a feature. Drawing from investigations by Inc. Magazine, insights from Entrepreneur Magazine, and analysis from Forbes, I see the pattern clearly: learning to navigate the personal-professional intersection is about more than mental health; it's about competitive advantage.
The Silent Epidemic Among Independent Professionals
The statistics paint a sobering picture. According to a landmark investigation published in Inc. Magazine, entrepreneurs experience significantly higher rates of anxiety and stress than traditional employees. The latest Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, cited in the Inc. study, found that "34 percent of entrepreneurs—4 percentage points more than other workers—reported they were worried. And 45 percent of entrepreneurs said they were stressed, 3 percentage points more than other workers."
But the numbers only tell part of the story. As business leaders, we've mastered what social psychiatrists call "impression management"—the art of faking it until we make it. Toby Thomas, CEO of EnSite Solutions, captured this perfectly in an analogy shared with Inc. Magazine: "It's like a man riding a lion. People look at him and think, ‘This guy's really got it together! He's brave!’ And the man riding the lion is thinking, ‘How the hell did I get on a lion, and how do I keep from getting eaten?’"
The Trauma-Success Connection
The connection between personal struggles and professional performance runs deeper than most realize. Dr. John Gartner, a psychologist at Johns Hopkins University Medical School, suggests in research cited by Inc. Magazine that many successful entrepreneurs share traits that make them simultaneously more driven and more vulnerable to emotional turbulence.
"People who are on the energetic, motivated, and creative side are both more likely to be entrepreneurial and more likely to have strong emotional states," explains Dr. Michael A. Freeman, a psychiatrist researching mental health and entrepreneurship, as quoted in Inc. Magazine. Those states, he notes, may include "depression, despair, hopelessness, worthlessness, loss of motivation, and suicidal thinking."
So, we see that the same passionate dispositions that drive us toward achievement can sometimes consume us if left unexamined.
The Competitive Advantage of Self-Awareness
Here's where the narrative shifts from problem to opportunity. As trauma-informed leadership coach Kelly L. Campbell argues in Entrepreneur Magazine, "By actively working to heal and integrate their past trauma, leaders create safe and empowering environments for their teams."
The benefits of this inner work extend far beyond personal well-being:
Enhanced Decision-Making Under Pressure: When you understand your triggers and emotional patterns, you can make clearer decisions during high-stakes moments. Instead of reacting from unhealed wounds, you respond from conscious choice.
Increased Empathy and Emotional Intelligence: Leaders who have done their own emotional work develop what Campbell describes in Entrepreneur Magazine as "heightened empathy and emotional intelligence as they better understand their pain and struggle." This translates directly into better team management and client relationships.
Authentic Authority: There's a palpable difference between leaders who project confidence and those who embody it. The latter comes from facing your shadows and integrating your experiences rather than hiding from them.
Four Practical Strategies for Professional Healing
Based on research from Inc. Magazine, Entrepreneur Magazine, and Forbes, along with my own personal experience, here are actionable steps for transforming personal challenges into professional strengths:
1. Join Strategic Peer Groups
Ryan Niddel, writing for Forbes, emphasizes the power of finding "peer groups of individuals…who were experiencing the same thing." He found success with organizations like Young Presidents' Organization (YPO), which provide confidential forums where leaders can share struggles without professional repercussions. "A problem shared is a problem halved," he notes in his Forbes piece.
For professionals navigating the self-employment journey, communities like The Purpose Post's Corporate Freedom Club offer similar peer support specifically designed for those building careers on their own terms.
2. Invest in Professional Coaching
Don't go it alone. Whether it's therapy, executive coaching, or specialized trauma-informed coaching, professional support accelerates growth while providing objective perspective. As Niddel shares in his Forbes article, "the first step to becoming emotionally resilient is to acknowledge your challenges exist. Your growth starts by telling the truth."
3. Practice Intentional Thought Management
Niddel's experience with dark thoughts, detailed in Forbes, led him to become "more intentional about my thoughts. You can't fully control your emotions and thoughts, but you can become more intentional about them. Acknowledge their presence but always remind yourself that they are just thoughts and emotions."
4. Establish Non-Negotiable Self-Care Practices
Dr. Freeman, quoted in Inc. Magazine, recommends cardiovascular exercise, healthy diet, and adequate sleep as foundational. But he also emphasizes cultivating an identity apart from your work. “Build a life centered on the belief that self-worth is not the same as net worth," he says.
Reframing the Narrative
Perhaps the most crucial shift is how we frame our struggles. Instead of seeing personal challenges as obstacles to professional success, we can recognize them as the raw material for authentic leadership.
Dr. Freeman, in his recommendations shared with Inc. Magazine, suggests reframing failure and loss: "Instead of telling yourself, 'I failed, the business failed, I'm a loser,' look at the data from a different perspective: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Life is a constant process of trial and error. Don't exaggerate the experience."
My own journey through divorce while building my business taught me that the moments when I felt most broken were often when I was becoming most powerful—not despite my struggles, but because I was facing them head-on and somehow knew they’d make me stronger.
The Path Forward
Mental Health Awareness Month reminds us that wellness isn't separate from success—it's integral to it. For independent professionals, the question isn't whether personal struggles will impact your business; it's whether you'll let them derail you or transform you.
The entrepreneurs and leaders who thrive long-term aren't those who avoid personal challenges; they're the ones who develop the courage to face themselves fully. They understand that every trigger is information, every wound is wisdom waiting to be integrated, and every moment of vulnerability is an opportunity for deeper connection with themselves and others.
Your business is only as strong as the person running it. And the strongest people aren't those who never fall—they're those who learn to fall forward, transforming every stumble into a step toward greater authenticity, resilience, and success.
The work of "getting over yourself" in business isn't actually about getting over anything. It's about getting deeper into who you really are, so you can show up as the leader your vision requires and your clients deserve.
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